


The Sound of Silence

by admiralandrea



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Episode Related, Gags, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Silence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 23:32:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17631848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/admiralandrea/pseuds/admiralandrea
Summary: This is how Callen deals with having to talk about things.





	The Sound of Silence

**Author's Note:**

> References Matroyshka Part 2 (S7 Ep16) and Callen's conversation with Sharov in that episode. Callen shares something about his early CIA career with Sam.

When there were days that G Callen found particularly difficult, he and Sam had worked out a routine that allowed him to relax and let go of whatever was bothering him. It wasn’t usually a case – he could deal with those easily enough most of the time. It was all the other little things that he didn’t get about families or childhood or love that Callen struggled with. Or sometimes it was a cover he couldn’t shake, because that other person allowed him to be someone he’s not, someone “normal” for lack of a better description.

On those days, Callen would go home first; Sam could always tell when he was struggling, so he’d leave his paperwork and go to the gym to hit the heavy bag. That was Callen’s signal that he could leave his own administrivia and pack up for the day. Because they car pooled most days, Callen would go sign out whatever took his fancy from the motor pool and drive home alone.

Once inside, he headed straight for the bedroom, stripping and dropping his clothes in the hamper. He wouldn’t shower – Sam dealt with that aspect of things. Instead, he would take the gag out the dresser drawer and fasten it in place, before going back to wait for Sam in the living room, kneeling beside the couch, where his collar waited to be buckled into place. Sam refused to allow Callen to put it on himself, the gag was the only thing he could do that with.

Because it was a well practiced routine between them, Sam never kept Callen waiting for more than a half hour before getting home as well. He would come straight through to where Callen kneeled in wait, tipping up Callen’s chin and kissing him around the gag, before reaching for the collar and buckling it on.

Then Sam would get him to his feet and lead him through the house to the bathroom. Sam would set the bath running, while he stripped his own clothes. Since Callen had moved in, the bathroom had been remodeled, so it now had a huge walk-in shower cubicle that fit both of them easily, as well as a large bath that was also big enough for the two of them. 

Sam would light the candles set around the room, add a bath bomb to the water and turn on the heated towel rail, while Callen again knelt waiting. At first, Callen had scoffed at such luxuries, not seeing the need, but Sam had worn him down gradually, using calming scents to help set the mood. And after taking five bullets, Callen had realized the benefits of a warm towel after his shower, because they helped with the residual aches and pains he still carried.

Now, with the tub filled to the right level, Sam urged Callen to his feet once more and they both climbed into the water, with Callen resting against Sam’s broad chest with a quiet sigh. He had his eyes closed, but Sam knew he wasn’t yet as relaxed as he might appear, if someone who didn’t know him were to see him now. It would take time and all of Sam’s patience and skill to coax him into a place where he would let Sam remove the gag and talk about what was bothering him.

They stayed there soaking for a while, Sam reaching out to add more hot water every so often, until he could feel Callen was more relaxed. Then he would pick up the body wash and gently bathe his partner, carefully using a soothing touch. This wasn’t about teasing or arousal, just a chance to nurture Callen. As he moved down the other man’s body with his hands, Callen would sigh and relax back into Sam’s body even more.

Sam had gotten skilled at maneuvering his partner’s body so that he could wash all of him, without really disturbing him from the relaxed position he’d settled into. After Sam was done, he let them settle back down again for a little while longer, before gently urging Callen upright and emptying the tub. A warm towel wrapped around Callen’s body earned Sam another sigh, his eyes mostly closed as Sam dried him off. Then Sam would guide Callen to sit on the closed toilet seat while he quickly dried himself off as well, throwing the towels in the hamper once he was done.

Back in the bedroom, Sam had more candles as well as reed diffusers scattered around the room, keeping the same ambience as they’d had in the bathroom, as well as oil heating over a burner. A fresh towel laid out on the bed and he guided Callen to stretch out on his stomach. 

Sam touched the gag, giving his partner a questioning look, but got a slight head shake in return, meaning that although Callen was feeling more relaxed, he wasn’t ready to talk yet. Sam gave a small nod of understanding. This was about Callen, so Sam took his cues from his partner. He stayed mostly silent as well, ensuring the mood he had set wasn’t spoiled with unnecessary talking.

Sam climbed onto the bed behind his partner and reached for the oil. He always found it harder to control his own reactions to having Callen spread out naked in front of him, but this still wasn’t about sex, so Sam kept a firm lid on his arousal and concentrated on keeping his partner calm and relaxed. 

Sam took his time with the massage, making sure his touch was firm, especially in spots that were sensitive. It wasn’t easy when he got to Callen’s firm ass, which he loved touching and marking, but again Sam reined himself in. Afterwards, he guided Callen onto his back and repeated the massage on the other side of his body. 

By the time he was done, Callen had a blissed out look on his face, but he wasn’t asleep. He also wasn’t hard, so Sam considered he’d done okay. Sam climbed off the bed and went round the room dousing the candles and generally cleaned up, before washing his hands in the bathroom. When he re-entered the bedroom, Callen was curled on his side, but his eyes were open, tracking Sam’s movements.

Sam got into bed and curled up with him, again touching the gag in a silent question. This time he got a small nod, so Sam carefully unbuckled and removed the gag, rubbing Callen’s jaw after he’d tossed it on the nightstand. Callen sighed and pressed back against Sam, although there was already no space between them.

“I need you in me,” Callen said quietly, taking Sam’s hand between both of his own.

“G?” Sam hadn’t expected that request.

“I need us to be as close as possible,” Callen told him, sounding almost tearful.

Sam stroked his back soothingly. “If that’s what you need G, no problem,” Sam told him.

Callen passed him the lube from the nightstand and rolled onto his front. Sam moved to kneel between his legs and opened the tube. 

Sam made quick work of opening up his partner, not wanting to draw things out when he still had to get Callen to actually talk about what was bothering him. The process of sliding fingers into Callen’s ass and preparing him was more than enough to get Sam hard, after having to hold back during the earlier massage and before long, he was persuading Callen to roll onto his side again. Sam stretched out behind him and positioned his partner just so, before guiding his cock into place, taking his time with the penetration. This didn’t seem to be about getting fucked for Callen, but about a deeper connection between them. It didn’t escape Sam’s notice that his partner wasn’t hard either. But Sam trusted him to know what he needed, so he didn’t make a fuss, just made sure to hold Callen securely against his body, keeping him as close as he could.

Callen entwined Sam’s hand with his when Sam was all the way inside, resting them over his heart. Sam gently kissed his neck before speaking directly in Callen’s ear.

“Talk to me G,” he said softly.

Callen sighed, but started to speak. “When we rescued Arkady and Sharov,” he said. “Sharov said he guided me to a safe house in Sevastopol because my asset wasn’t who I thought she was.”

“Okay,” Sam said, trying to keep his partner going when he paused.

“I’ve been trying to remember that op since then,” Callen said, then paused again. 

Sam waited patiently, sensing he was trying to work out how to tell Sam what he wanted to say, rather than out of reluctance to speak.

“The case today, I started to remember. The woman that Kensi went after was called Greta and that was when it came to me. The asset in Sevastopol was called Greta as well.”

“She was your target?” Sam asked.

Callen nodded before continuing his explanation. “It was my first overseas op for the CIA. There was a group who were primarily a gang of drug dealers, looking to expand into arms dealing. Greta was the younger sister of one of the gang, but she was really good with numbers, so they allowed her to keep an eye on their books. They were paranoid that someone was trying to rob them. She also had a real job as a waitress in a diner and that was my in to get close to her.”

“What was your cover?” Sam prompted when Callen’s explanation petered out.

Callen sighed. “I was a student at a nearby technical college, newly arrived in the city from my family’s farm in a remote rural area. Daniil was young and naive, but had hearts in his eyes for the pretty waitress and spent all his spare time in the diner trying to get to know her.” 

He sounded wry and cynical to Sam, but it was a role they’d both played in various ways over the years. Sam didn’t say anything and Callen went on with his story.

“The gang ran a bar in the city that was also close to the diner and technical college. Daniil was able to persuade Greta to go there for a drink, pretending not to know it was where her big brother hung out.”

Again, Callen paused in his story telling and reached back to grip Sam’s arm with his free hand. Sam squeezed the other hand which was still resting on his partner’s chest, entangling their legs as well, trying to make Callen feel held and cherished and supported.

After a while, Sam felt he had to break the prolonged silence, he knew his partner need to finish the story, get out what was festering inside him since he’d remembered it earlier that day.

“Finish it G,” Sam said softly, squeezing his partner as tightly as he could when he said it.

Callen made a noise which sounded like a choked off sob, before taking a deep breath and then exhaling loudly. Finally, he began to speak, his voice hoarse and filled with emotions.

“The brother and the rest of the gang didn’t trust me from the minute I arrived in the bar with Greta. I don’t know why they were suspicious or what they didn’t believe about me, but I could tell they weren’t buying who I was, despite Greta’s protests. But I kept my cover of being the innocent country bumpkin with stars in his eyes and they let me stay. I had a couple of drinks, but tried to pace myself, without making them suspicious. After a few hours, they insisted I do shots with them and I naively believed I’d won them over. Instead, they spiked my drink with some sort of drug and then dragged me out back and beat me up.”

Sam inhaled sharply at that news and tightened his grip even more, making Callen squeak a little. Sam forced himself to let up and relax his hold, rubbing Callen’s chest in apology as he did so.

“They left me in the alley with the garbage,” Callen continued. “I don’t know if they thought I was dead or unconscious or just didn’t care either way. After a while, I managed to drag myself out of there and find a phone booth. I called in for help and then must have been when I spoke with Sharov. He gave me directions to a safe house belonging to an older couple who were sympathetic to the US and they got a doctor who treated me.”

“How bad was it?” Sam asked.

Callen shook his head. “It doesn’t matter Sam, it was a long time ago,” he said. “I stayed there for a few days recovering then was extracted by boat at night. What’s ironic is that I was dropped in Constanta roughly a day later and then flew out of the base at Mihail Kogalniceanu a day after that.”

Sam was the one shaking his head at that news and the fact that his partner had been at the same base where Hetty had been treated when she had been shot by Alexa Comescu a few years previously.

“So what happened after that?” he asked.

Callen shrugged as much as he could in Sam’s hold. “The debriefing from hell with the agency once I got back and a few days of recovery before I got sent on a new mission.”

“And that was it?” Sam queried. “What about the original mission you were sent there for?”

“I found out later that they had another asset, an arms dealer that they’d managed to turn, he was used to set up the gang and take them down.”

Sam sighed, although he wasn’t really surprised by what he’d heard. It was typical of the CIA from his experience with them, as well as the stories his partner had told him in the past. 

“How do you feel now?” Sam asked, putting aside the past to concentrate on his partner and the here and now.

Callen was the one sighing now, but Sam could feel that he was tense with how close they were. “I just want to forget it again,” he admitted. “Can we do that Sam?” he sounded plaintive and a little lost, which Sam didn’t like.

“Of course,” Sam agreed. “Let me take care of you, alright baby?”

Callen just nodded, not even protesting the endearment like he usually did. Sam kept his arms around his partner and started to kiss the sensitive side of his neck. Callen squirmed a little, so Sam tightened his grip in warning and felt him relax into Sam’s touch. Sam rewarded him by starting to touch him, stroking and teasing his sensitive spots. 

Callen moaned and pushed back against Sam, his ass clenching on Sam’s cock, which was still inside him. Sam hummed and tilted Callen’s face towards him so that he could kiss him, pushing his tongue into Callen’s mouth. One hand went to play with a nipple, while the other reached for Callen’s cock. Sam was pleased to find he was starting to get hard.

Sam lost himself in pleasuring Callen, expertly playing his partner’s body, knowing from long experience just how to work him up to the edge and keep him there, without letting him come. Callen moaned and sighed and melted into Sam’s body, cock gradually getting harder and slicker in Sam’s grip.

Sam rolled them so that Callen was face down on the bed, head turned to one side so he could breathe. He gripped Callen’s hips and started to thrust, needing to feel his cock moving in and out of the other man’s ass. Callen was moaning continually, pushing back into Sam’s thrusts, gripping the sheets tightly as Sam fucked him hard and deep.

It couldn’t last, it never did, Sam felt himself getting closer to the edge before long and he grunted now as he shoved in ever harder.

“Come for me G,” he encouraged his partner as he dragged his hips upwards, making Callen yell as Sam hit his prostate.

Callen’s body clenched underneath him and Sam knew he was coming. He thrust a few more times, until he was coming too, hips jerking as he spent his load. Callen clenched down on him as he did so, making them both moan and then Sam’s arms gave way and he collapsed onto his partner’s back. 

Callen oofed a little as he took Sam’s weight, but he didn’t object, instead reaching back to take hold of Sam’s arm in a tight grip. Sam stayed there, knowing his partner liked having Sam’s body covering his, as his breathing gradually slowed back to normal.

Callen lay beneath him, still holding Sam’s arm, his own breathing still hard and fast, until Sam took hold of him once more and rolled them on to their sides again, keeping his grip on Callen as he did so. Callen sighed and tangled their legs together, holding Sam’s arms around him once more. Sam didn’t object, he needed the closeness as well after the intensity of the last few hours.

Sam dozed a little, lying there, until Callen shifted slightly and got his attention. “You okay?” he asked.

Callen turned his head and Sam kissed him. “Yeah,” he said, when Sam let him go again. “Thank you Sam.”

“You know you don’t need to thank me,” Sam reminded him gently.

Callen pursed his lips, but didn’t argue. “Can we sleep like this?” he asked.

“If that’s what you want,” Sam agreed. It wasn’t the first time that Callen had made the request. “But you know I won’t stay in you all night.”

“I know,” Callen agreed. “But I like it when you’re this close.” 

He paused and Sam knew there was something else he wanted, he could guess what it was as well, but Callen knew he had to ask.

“Can I have the gag as well?” Callen reached for it on the nightstand.

It wasn’t unusual for Callen to want the gag when he’d shared something major with Sam like this. Sam didn’t quite understand why he needed it after sharing some of his past or why he wanted the silence to be enforced, but he was willing to go along with it. Callen couldn’t explain it, had gotten angry and frustrated when he’d tried, but failed to do so. Sam had stopped asking, knowing it just hurt Callen to keep doing so, when his partner didn’t really understand it himself.

He’d considered asking Nate about it, or suggesting they have a session with him together, a long time ago, before Nate had gone off to be an agent. He had never quite done so though and knew it would be pointless to do so now. Callen no longer trusted Nate, after he’d used Callen’s first name on the fucked up mission involving Alisa Chambers and there was no one else Sam could suggest.

So Sam took the gag from his partner and carefully buckled it into place. Callen relaxed back into Sam once more and Sam closed his eyes, slowing his breathing as he did so. He felt Callen synch his breathing to Sam’s and then sleep took him over.


End file.
